You mean... I'm not Superwoman??
Hello readers! I know it's been awhile since I've posted. Let me tell you what's been going on with me.
From September to the beginning of November, I was in a vicious cycle known as working 60 hours a week, serving in the temple, having a minimal social life, eating sometimes, and sleeping less than I should.
Needless to say, I've realized I'm not superwoman, despite what I was trying to prove to everyone, myself included.
It's true... I am merely mortal, which means I am very flawed and definitely have weaknesses. While I've been trying to give my all, my all was slowly being spent.
What is it about mortality that makes us feel that we have to do SO MUCH? The constant demand for instant products, instant messages, instant changes, and instant results causes our world to have less patience with each other and less patience with ourselves.
I kept telling myself I would catch up, that I would figure it all out, that I would somehow be able to do it all, even though it seemed far from reality at the time, and become the expert I was expected to be. When I wasn't seeing the results that I wanted and that had been expected of me, it became an overwhelming, stressful, dauntingly perpetual cycle. I knew at some point something had to give, but with barely any time to breathe, it was hard to be able to stop and evaluate WHAT change I could or should make.
I've been wanting to take a better hold of my life, but I slowly slipped into letting life's demands take hold of me.
As I was trying to stay afloat, I was caught off guard by getting rear ended on Monday October 17. Happy start to the week, right? My car didn't get terribly damaged, and I felt mostly okay, just a little whiplash and some headaches. I tried living that week as best as I could, but I definitely did not feel completely functional. Several days that week, I felt like I was moving in slow motion and having a hard time processing things cognitively. At the end of the week, I went to a doctor who told me I had a mild concussion.
What?! A concussion??!?! I have never really been badly hurt before. I've only broken one bone in the top of my foot. With this in mind, having a head injury, a brain injury really, threw me for a loop. I took the weekend off and just chilled, mostly due to the doctor's orders, but I really needed it.
Since then, I've been able to take it a little easier and take better care of myself. From the beginning of November to mid January, I started working 40 hours at one job and not 60 between two jobs. A few weeks ago, I started an internship, so I'm back up to 50 hours a week, but I really learned how to manage my time in a way that's more well-rounded. I have less stress in my life and am following up with doctors about my body's reactions to my accident.
Through my experience, I've realized a few things:
1- I feel like a mess and it's okay. We all feel like a mess at times, and some for longer periods than others. We just try and pretend we're pulling everything together, but we're human, and we make mistakes. We may feel like we're falling apart, but other people will see that we are doing okay. It's alright to feel like we are a mess at times. I learned this principle on my mission, but it's been a great reminder in life after the mission.
2- We need to take care of ourselves. Our needs have to come before our wants, and sometimes our needs change based on our circumstances, like your body literally being out of alignment.
3- We each have our limitations of what we can and can't handle. Some people can handle more at one time than someone else can. We each have to discover and decide for ourselves what we can handle and still be functional. I realized my limitations are different than they used to be, and I'm on the only one who can tell me what I can and can't handle.
4- I am still young and inexperienced in my professional life, but I can't let any drawbacks hinder any goals and dreams.
5- To go along with that, I need to re-establish what my goals and dreams really are for my life. I haven't figured it out yet, but I have time. We all have time to re-evaluate what we're doing and make adjustments in order to do things we really love.
Now my job is to take care of myself and help others however I can.
Since November, I've been making great strides to do this.
-I switched my schedule so I can have more of a balance between having work and having a social life.
I never realized that being social is more than just a want for me. It's a huge part of my overall wellness and balance having a social life. Other people may not need it at all for their overall well-being, but it's a significant part for me.
-I have been going to a chiropractor to help my body be put into alignment.
-I have more experience than I previously credited myself for, but it's been great to get back into the work force and gain confidence in my professional self again.
I looked through my resume again and added up my experience... I have done more than I thought I had! Even though I've been at a job where I'm not using my degree specifically, it's been such a blessing to be working and sharpening many of the skills that apply to any job.
So the next time you feel like your life is falling apart, take a moment and think...
Am I trying to be a superhero today?
What am I doing to take care of myself today?
What can I do to take care of someone else?
I know that as you take care of yourself, you will not only bless your life, but be able to have the strength and ability to help bless other people's lives.
From September to the beginning of November, I was in a vicious cycle known as working 60 hours a week, serving in the temple, having a minimal social life, eating sometimes, and sleeping less than I should.
Needless to say, I've realized I'm not superwoman, despite what I was trying to prove to everyone, myself included.
*Wait WHAT?!?!*
It's true... I am merely mortal, which means I am very flawed and definitely have weaknesses. While I've been trying to give my all, my all was slowly being spent.
What is it about mortality that makes us feel that we have to do SO MUCH? The constant demand for instant products, instant messages, instant changes, and instant results causes our world to have less patience with each other and less patience with ourselves.
I kept telling myself I would catch up, that I would figure it all out, that I would somehow be able to do it all, even though it seemed far from reality at the time, and become the expert I was expected to be. When I wasn't seeing the results that I wanted and that had been expected of me, it became an overwhelming, stressful, dauntingly perpetual cycle. I knew at some point something had to give, but with barely any time to breathe, it was hard to be able to stop and evaluate WHAT change I could or should make.
I've been wanting to take a better hold of my life, but I slowly slipped into letting life's demands take hold of me.
As I was trying to stay afloat, I was caught off guard by getting rear ended on Monday October 17. Happy start to the week, right? My car didn't get terribly damaged, and I felt mostly okay, just a little whiplash and some headaches. I tried living that week as best as I could, but I definitely did not feel completely functional. Several days that week, I felt like I was moving in slow motion and having a hard time processing things cognitively. At the end of the week, I went to a doctor who told me I had a mild concussion.
What?! A concussion??!?! I have never really been badly hurt before. I've only broken one bone in the top of my foot. With this in mind, having a head injury, a brain injury really, threw me for a loop. I took the weekend off and just chilled, mostly due to the doctor's orders, but I really needed it.
Since then, I've been able to take it a little easier and take better care of myself. From the beginning of November to mid January, I started working 40 hours at one job and not 60 between two jobs. A few weeks ago, I started an internship, so I'm back up to 50 hours a week, but I really learned how to manage my time in a way that's more well-rounded. I have less stress in my life and am following up with doctors about my body's reactions to my accident.
Through my experience, I've realized a few things:
1- I feel like a mess and it's okay. We all feel like a mess at times, and some for longer periods than others. We just try and pretend we're pulling everything together, but we're human, and we make mistakes. We may feel like we're falling apart, but other people will see that we are doing okay. It's alright to feel like we are a mess at times. I learned this principle on my mission, but it's been a great reminder in life after the mission.
2- We need to take care of ourselves. Our needs have to come before our wants, and sometimes our needs change based on our circumstances, like your body literally being out of alignment.
3- We each have our limitations of what we can and can't handle. Some people can handle more at one time than someone else can. We each have to discover and decide for ourselves what we can handle and still be functional. I realized my limitations are different than they used to be, and I'm on the only one who can tell me what I can and can't handle.
4- I am still young and inexperienced in my professional life, but I can't let any drawbacks hinder any goals and dreams.
5- To go along with that, I need to re-establish what my goals and dreams really are for my life. I haven't figured it out yet, but I have time. We all have time to re-evaluate what we're doing and make adjustments in order to do things we really love.
Now my job is to take care of myself and help others however I can.
Since November, I've been making great strides to do this.
-I switched my schedule so I can have more of a balance between having work and having a social life.
I never realized that being social is more than just a want for me. It's a huge part of my overall wellness and balance having a social life. Other people may not need it at all for their overall well-being, but it's a significant part for me.
-I have been going to a chiropractor to help my body be put into alignment.
Our necks are supposed to look like the one on the left with more curvature in almost a C shape. This is just a poster from my chiropractor's office, but after being rear ended, my neck X-rays looked just like the one on the right - almost vertical and without any curvature. It became apparent in that appointment that I needed to be realigned. Through my adjustments and rehab treatment, I have started to feel better. It's been such a relief to take care of myself and actually feel results from it.
-I have more experience than I previously credited myself for, but it's been great to get back into the work force and gain confidence in my professional self again.
I looked through my resume again and added up my experience... I have done more than I thought I had! Even though I've been at a job where I'm not using my degree specifically, it's been such a blessing to be working and sharpening many of the skills that apply to any job.
So the next time you feel like your life is falling apart, take a moment and think...
Am I trying to be a superhero today?
What am I doing to take care of myself today?
What can I do to take care of someone else?
I know that as you take care of yourself, you will not only bless your life, but be able to have the strength and ability to help bless other people's lives.
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